It never ceases to amaze me how many developing and would-be filmmakers spend little to no time actually making films. I’m not talking about ambitious feature-length projects requiring money and the assistance of many others on both sides of the camera. No, I’m talking about how I never see filmmakers grabbing their phones (and there’s no excuse given the quality of phone cameras these days) and making short films for social media. Utilizing whatever they have on hand, almost Dogme 95 style, to produce a sum greater than its parts. Letting one’s sheer cinematic talents stand on their merits stripped bare. Of course, this failure to launch is a product of fear. Holding onto the excuse that, as “serious” filmmakers, they would never stoop so low as to produce absurd, bargain-basement short films for social media even when faced with a total absence of other prospects. Never mind that making absurd, bargain-basement short films is what landed Tim Burton the director’s chair for Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.
This is not how I roll as I’ve proved repeatedly. Not only is this style of filmmaking a form of cinematic fitness that keeps me sharp and makes me stronger, but I’d always rather be pursuing an interest than talking about pursuing it.
One of my ongoing projects in 2023 was a series of Instagram Reels I produced based on passages from my bare-all male stripper memoir. While many of these videos feature me dancing, some are built around still photos from a given moment in time. Others showcase my thespian chops as I act out various scenarios. Like the time I performed at a birthday party in a single-wide, and a married woman kept making bedroom eyes at me as her husband watched and enjoyed. The struggle was real.
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And the struggle was made even more real when, despite being knee deep in the hoopla of getting my stripping agency off the ground, I decided to concurrently pursue another passion:
“It was time to get serious about building Hardbodies Entertainment of Arkansas into a full-fledged exotic entertainment agency. Amber remained in tow, but I needed more entertainers. Including other male strippers, so I didn’t have to handle every bachelorette party myself, I wanted to seek club bookings for male revues. Where female strippers were concerned, I was keen on offering two girl shows. This was something Amber was not down with herself, so I was starting from scratch there. I planned to add lean mass to my frame while further distinguishing myself as a professional entertainer. I began 2005 with a lot on my plate for sure.
“So, naturally, I agreed to co-produce and star in a feature-length film being directed by an acquaintance I met through LiveJournal. It was a ridiculous proposition for me to even consider, but I couldn’t help myself. I’ve been seriously interested in filmmaking since first seeing Eraserhead as a teenager. It blew my mind that not only could such a brilliantly absurd film be made, but that it could be done with little money and no studio support. For better or worse, I signed up to be one-quarter of a four-headed monster production team that also included my co-star. A girl named Rebecca.
“I also began the trend of pursuing additional moneymaking opportunities during the week. These were independent contractor gigs that ranged over the years from retail merchandising to building decks to technical writing. They allowed me to work alone, set my own schedule, and answer incoming calls for strippers. Even during periods when I didn’t need the extra money, these projects got me out of the house and kept me from getting bored while waiting for the phone to ring.
“As my filmmaking cohorts and I set to work casting our movie, I concurrently began holding my own casting sessions for Hardbodies. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, most applicants didn’t make it past the initial email or phone call. It should surprise no one that oodles of scummy people applied with us over the years. Many were so bad in every way imaginable that I didn’t bother to respond, and they couldn’t have seriously thought they stood a chance in hell. Right?”
This passage referencing Eraserhead presented a video production opportunity that was ambitious and worth the effort. It’s apropos given the low-budget constraints under which David Lynch produced his landmark 1977 feature-length debut. This is the film that made me want to make my own films. And I regularly produce short films based on what I can do. Without concern for what I can’t afford. My Eraserhead remake was pulled off using only what I already had on hand. I relied solely on confidence in my creative talents, MacGyver-like ingenuity, and never-say-die attitude. The final product succeeds because anyone who’s seen Eraserhead will immediately recognize the iconic images from the film I’ve recreated.
How I Made It
My bare-all memoir Naked Ambition: A Male Stripper's True Account of Making Girls Behave Badly and its ultra-smutty companion novel Wild Nights of Arkansas Strippers: Based on a True Story are available in eBook and paperback from Amazon and other online retailers.
The above video montage displays every step of the production. I shot all footage in my home office, which is the setting for most of my indoor photos and videos. The sole lighting source was a standard tabletop lamp in front of me to my left. The amber tone of the leopard-print shade helps bring out the bronze tone of my tanned skin. I shot with my phone, which was mounted to a selfie stick clamped to a standard camera tripod. The black background is two black bedsheets that I keep hanging on a backdrop stand as I utilize them often.
After doing my makeup, I dressed to play the role of Henry Spencer. I achieved the character’s iconic hairstyle simply by using my hands to hold up my hair. The challenge was getting the shot while keeping my hands and arms out of frame and holding my hair high enough while not lifting my arms so high that the viewer could tell.
For playing the Lady in the Radiator, I donned the blonde wig I wear when playing female characters in videos. The white “dress” is half of an old pillowcase, but the viewer can’t tell due to the shot’s framing. Although I could put it on over my head, I had to take off my jeans to remove it. The character’s iconic puffy cheeks were achieved by stuffing balled-up paper towels in my mouth.
The “radiator” was fabricated by positioning two oil-filled radiator space heaters end to end. Despite appearing first in the finished video, it was shot last. I often shoot footage in nonlinear order. Starting with the most difficult shot and working down to the easiest. This approach saves me a lot of stress and headaches.
I structured and edited the footage on my phone using the CapCut app. Yes, CapCut is owned by the same company that owns TikTok. Perform your own due diligence before installing any app on your devices, but I digress. I applied a black-and-white filter to the footage along with effects to closely recreate these scenes in the original film. It was also in CapCut, where I added the crying baby and industrial noises. “In Heaven (Lady in the Radiator Song)” by Peter Ivers was (surprisingly) available on Instagram for use in Reels. The end result is an entertaining video that deserves to go viral but won’t. Sigh…
Accept The Challenge
You don’t have to aspire to be the next David Lynch or Tim Burton to make films on the cheap. It’s better if you don’t aspire to be anyone but yourself. Creative self-expression is a tremendous exercise for anyone and an indispensable component of one’s overall health and wellness routine. It’s time to grab your phone and document your inner muse with its camera. It can be anything that gets your motor running. There are no rules except those you choose to impose on yourself. And if this post inspires you to produce a film, be sure to message or tag me because I totally want to see it.
Get on it.